Monday, November 19, 2007

Expecting Miracles/Following guidance

I dont expect miracles--not always. You'd think that I would, or should, given all that I've experienced, the hundreds of angel columns I've written, and the thousands of miraculous letters I've read. Still, though I try to hold myself in a state of expectant anticipation, when life gets hectic, I shift into automatic pilot... and for me, that means, losing touch with the angels. So, sometimes, they have to amp up the guidance to get my attention... that's what happened this weekend.

Regular readers will know that I have been guided, for some time now, to reduce my intake of caffeine. Each time I reach for a cup of tea, I get a gentle nudge (I usually experience these nudges as a kind of "attention blip" in which my stream of thought is interrupted for a split second and a message, usually in the form of a feeling or impression/image, flashes across my consciousness. It isn't subtle, it's specific--and when it happens there is no doubt what it's about--or who it's from.

The impression, regarding caffeine, has been a simple one: Lemon Water. I get it as words, I get it as a picture of a clear glass of water, glistening with dew, in which two slices of lemon float, backlit by white light. It's a lovely advertisement for Lemon Water, actually--one that would make Madison Avenue proud. And what do I do when I see it? I ignore it.

Why? Because I don't like lemon water--and I love tea.
But it's also because each time this happens I get a kind of inner uprising which roughly translates to, "You are not the boss of me."

And, you know what, they're not. The angels aren't trying to control me. That's not their intention, nor is it their function on this Earth. The angels are here to support and love us, to help bring us peace. And, in that light, the second impression they send to me is always: We don't want you to get sick. And then, they give me a pinch in the kidneys.

I should mention that this message (about drinking more water and taking special care of my Urinary Tract) has been coming at me for about 35 years. First, it came from MB Dykshoorn, a world-renowned psychic--the same man who predicted the conception and birth of my son and then my daughter. He also told me, "You are too dry. You need to drink WAY more water or you are going to have trouble with your kidneys." When I asked for more details, he said, "This one is entirely in your hands. You will decide--through your choices--what is going to happen."

After my visit to Dykshoon there was a long pause in the guidance (or my awareness of it--and this may have been because I was FOLLOWING it) and then it returned--whispering at me from books, magazines, TV talk shows: Drink more water. And I did, and then I stopped. And the guidance returned--and I'd drink more water, until I'd stop. And now, for the past four years--roughly the time that I've been working on the angel column, it's been increasingly and persistently pestering me.

So anyway, this weekend...
I worked late on Friday evening and my editor asked if I'd like to take a walk with her and as we walked I told her about the lemon water/caffeine guidance.

I described the many ways the angels have tried to get my attention: Sending a complete stranger to stand beside me at the iced tea spigot at Panera Bread to say, "Caffeine is bad for your kidneys. You should try lemon water. You can even add a little Splenda."

And the incident, which I captured in my journal on August 21, 2006: Last night, I awakened suddenly and, half-dreaming, reached for the book on my bedside table. Turn to any page, a little voice told me. Clicking on the blinding light, I winced at the page. It read: "For the next three weeks, consume upon awakening, the juice of one lemon in water." When I looked at the clock it was 4:44--the number that, according to Doreen Virtue, means: You are surrounded by angels. We are guiding you in all ways.

You have to have a sense of humor.

The day after the walk with my editor, I went to Panera Bread, which is where I write. I set up my little work area in the corner--laptop, notebook, pen. All that was missing was... iced tea. (We writers love our rituals.) So I stepped up to the cashier and ordered it.. and the moment the words were out of my mouth, whoosh. I felt a yanking, tugging feeling in the middle of my body and a flash of what felt like... could it be?.... indignation. We heard you say it! the guidance flashed. We heard you tell your editor that you are getting our messages. You cannot pretend any more. Now stop it!

Well, okay, I gulped. And then I took my iced tea cup from the cashier.

I walked to the back of the store debating (stupdily) whether to follow the guidance or not... and (stupidly) decided that having iced tea (ritual is REALLY important to some writers) was critical to my success as a writer and human being and I held my cup to the ice dispenser and pushed and it clicked and .....

The power went out. Yup. all the lights in the place. The music went off, the room went dark, the ice did not come into my cup. "That's never happened before," the manager said, as if to put a very clear point on things.

And when the power came up a moment later, I made myself a cup of lemon water.

That night, I had a dream. and in the dream, I remember asking for help with something. And on Sunday, all day, I had a conscious, lively, very real discussion with my angels. I told them how much I love tea and how giving it up felt sad and painful to me. They told me, to my surprise: You needn't give it up. But you must drink more water.

They reminded me of the research I'd read (which they told me they'd sent)about caffeine's down side. Though it is wonderful for certain things--antioxidants, mental clarity, phytonutrients--it tends to leech calcium from the bones and to act as a diuretic.

Oh, yeah, I remembered.(As if I'd ever forgotten!)And finally, with an open heart and a willingness to (finally) follow their guidance, I asked: What should I do?

And you know what? They didn't take my tea away! Rinse away any ill effects with two glasses of water for each cup of tea, was the simple, clear message they sent.

A few hours later, as I straightened the kitchen, I found myself sorting through about a dozen little packages of herbs in the back of the tea cabinet. Herbs in little paper sacks that I'd bought months earlier but hadn't even opened.

I found some glass mason jars and emptied the herbs into them, labeling each one--Nettles, Dandelion leaf, red clover, red raspberry leaf. I set them in rows on the shelf and admired them there, feeling really pleased with myself. And I thought, Tonight, I'll have a cup of herbal tea. But right now...

I poured myself a glass of water and drank it in,

One last thing I should tell you... this morning, I awoke before dawn (had a glass of water) and flipped on my computer to check my messages. I spent about 15 minutes there, to send an email to my editor, describing all that had transpired since our Friday night walk.

Then, I made myself a cup of tea and fully enjoyed it. I didn't feel guilty or petulant. For the first time in a very long time, I let myself have what I wanted to have with pleasure. I rolled out my yoga mat and flipped on the morning news where an announcer was discussing....

How important it is to drink plenty of water in the winter.

I sat there on my yoga mat, appreciating how truly whimsical my angels can be which is when I had one of those "blips". This one led me back to my computer and there, on the center of the keyboard I'd been working at half an hour earlier, was a perfect white feather.

Sheesh. Talk about miracles.
I love these angels of mine.

To read the next installment of this saga, click HERE

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