Thursday, February 12, 2009

What does this mean?

I dream that I am biting into lightbulbs, chewing them up and swallowing. It’s not painful—and not particularly satisfying either. Like unsalted potato chips or pretzels, they’re crunchy with little real flavor. “It’s okay,” someone tells me (though I didn’t ask), “The power’s turned off at the source. They can’t hurt you.” I must have eaten five or six of them when I realize, albeit belatedly, that eventually the power will be turned on!

It’s then that I see, on television or in the next room (what’s the difference, really?) a man running wildly around, shouting, “He ate a lightbulb? A lightbulb?” “Yes,” a woman materializes to explain. “A lightbulb.”
“Call the hospital,” the man screams and the woman leaves, apparently to do so (but who knows? She may not have liked the way he was talking to her and decided to just let him call the $&^# hospital himself.)

I wake up thinking about how much damage might be done to my large intestine, small intestine, and colon—not to mention the painful business of excretion, if you know what I mean—and pondering the best course of action: Do I drink a gallon or two of water (as one is supposed to do to flush out toxins)? Do I race to the hospital myself? Do I, perhaps, induce vomiting?

I settle on my usual strategy: Waiting to see what happens.

I wake up with a man’s voice saying, “Amy!” quite sharply in my ear. When I open my eyes, no one is there.

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